Downfall
by TonyCupcake
Summary: Co-written with iAct. High school got the best of all of us. I, become unstable and everything changes for the worse. It's our first year, so why this bad? Well my friends and I are heading for the worse, straight into the downfall. Seddie!
1. The dance that changed it all

**A/N- Okay so me and my new buddie, iAct. Have decided to co-write this amazing story after watching, iSpeed Date. For all you Seddie fans out there we wrote this just so you know that there will always be a happy ending...in T.V shows. xD- Tony/Nessi/Colby**

**Sam's P.O.V-**

They where dancing. My two best friends were dancing in the middle of Groovy Smoothies. Just like that. Screw them. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I care or anything. Well, maybe. My friends. Dancing. The nubs.

I made a sour face on the outside of the glass door. How could they do this to me? How could Freddie? How could Carly?

I sucked in my breath and opened the door. I saw Freddie's grin grow up to his ears and couldn't do it. I shut the door and ran to my house. I bet they were still cuddled up next to each other. All happy, happy. I felt something come up as I shut the door to my house and ran into the bathroom and threw up. I fell to the floor and just sat there. What's a girl to do? I don't know but I just kept throwing up after that. Tears and this afternoons lunch mixed together and I cried and cried.

"Sam?"

My mother barged into the bathroom where I had my head over the toilet.. She gasped and ran to my side.

"Honey, are you okay?" she asked, panicked.

She ran to the kitchen and brought me back a wet rag and placed it on my forehead. I mumbled a thank you.

I stopped throwing up, but stood by the toilet just in case. I slowly fell asleep in the bathroom, tears still running down my face. I wasn't quite sure why I was crying, but I did until I couldn't anymore. I knew something changed inside me when I kissed him. I never thought it would, but it did. Damn. What should I do? It wasn't just _a kiss_. I thought, the way he returned the favor, he felt something change, too. I was obviously wrong.

I woke up with a blanket wrapped around me, still on the floor. I heard my purse ring and I slowly opened it, forgetting about all that happened last night. I had 20 missed calls.

Shit.

**Carly**_: OMG! Freddie is sooo amazing!_

**Carly**_: We almost kissed!_

**Carly**_: Did you know Freddie's cute?_

**Carly**_: Freddie is really strong!_

**Carly**_: Sam, are you there?_

**Cary**_: Sam?_

**Carly**_: Sam! I need to talk to you!_

**Freddie**_: Hey Sam, can you help me?_

**Freddie**_: Does Carly like me?_

I stopped there. There is no way I would read the rest. I couldn't deal with the pain swelling in my chest. I thought for maybe twenty minutes and came up with a plan.

I know. Thinking? I really hit it hard. I smiled at my plan. It would work. Just pull myself from the world. Keep it to just me and my ham. Maybe it would work. The image of Carly in Freddie's arms made me cringe. A tear escaped my eye. I stood up and looked in the mirror.

Carly looked so much better, huh? All the guys liked Carly. Everyone did. The only person who ever loved me was Spencer. Maybe my mother. Spencer had always been there. I thought Freddie had once been, too, but I guess I'll never know. I am so fat. Look at my hair. I lifted up my shirt to show my fat body. How could people stand me?

_I stood at the door and smiled. He was so perfect. I'd never tell him though. Our kiss. It wasn't just a kiss. I felt...I felt…more._

_"Hey Sam?" I looked in his direction. "I hate you."_

_I smiled. "Hate you, too."_

No wonder he hated me. I was just some bully who he used to get to Carly. He never liked me. He never even cared. That kiss…That kiss was practice for Carly. I held back a sob and looked at myself. Maybe he just hated a fat bully. I'm ugly, poor, and fat. Carly is perfect.

I sobbed this time. My phone rung one more time and I checked it one more time.

**Freddie**_: Sam? Are you okay?_

I sighed and frowned then pulled out the keyboard and wrote him a message.

**Sam**_: No. I will never ever be okay. I have you and Carly to thank for that._

The message sent and I turned off my phone. I quickly pulled off the back and took out the SIM card. I stuck it in the toilet and laughed evilly. Good bye fat Sam. It's time to be perfect.

I turned to face the toilet and forced myself to puke. Over and over. It filled up and I looked in the mirror, satisfied. I flushed and walked out.

I wasn't going insane.

I got to the fridge, and found a note posted to the counter. I put it down and opened the fridge. Cheesecake, ham, and spaghetti filled the fridge. My stomach did a turn. I grabbed a water, shut the door and read the letter.

My mom was out of the house. No biggie.

Our house phone rang and thinking it was just a normal call, I picked it up.

"Sam?" a husky voice asked.

Freddie.

I groaned. "What?"

"You said you weren't okay. What's wrong?" He sounded worried. Way to fake emotion. Enough to break a girl's heart.

"You know what!" I shouted.

I was angry. Hot tears filled my eyes.

"You used me! You just want Carly! Well have fun! I NEVER EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" My voice got louder and I hung quickly.

Twenty minutes and there was still no return call. Good. I cried some more and left for the bathroom.

Welcome to my new life.

I wasn't sure what to do at school tomorrow. So I just went upstairs and played with my zebra sheets and decided to sleep all day.

I woke up around 3 am, straightened my hair, and went back to sleep. My mom came in and kissed me goodnight. I was too afraid of tomorrow.

My alarm clock beeped around 7 am, and I kept hitting snooze. I finally got up and brushed my teeth and hair. I pulled on my clothes: short shorts, and a few layered tank tops. I pulled on green Chuck Taylors and a purple striped hoodie. I grabbed my school bags and hopped downstairs.

"There you are!" my mom cried, scooping fried eggs onto a plate.

She pushed the food towards me.

I shook my head. "Not hungry."

She looked at me oddly and shrugged.

On my way out, I grabbed a bottle of water and sighed.

God? Are you there? It's me, Sam.

**A/N- Tada! Thank you for reading. Next chapter is being written as you read this. Yes, this. You read it? It's being written! :O So now hold on to your seats this story just keeps getting better! - Tonycupcake and iAct.**


	2. A new reality

**A/N- All credit for this chapter goes to iAct, she's amazing. She has fabulous ideas!**

As I walked through the halls of Ridgeway, my stomach was aching from the lack of food. My mind was screaming at me, telling me to eat something. Anything.. I fought myself with what little willpower I had.

Mind over matter, I kept repeating over and over in my head.

I stopped at a water fountain and refilled my bottle. I had finished the whole thing on the way to school, trying to get my stomach to shut up. I put the cap back on and made my way to my locker, praying that for once, Carly and Freddie werent there. To my disappointment, they were there, chatting away.

I walked up to my locker and wordlessly dialed my combination. I opened my locker and grabbed whatever my hands touched. My mind was fixated on the matter at hand. And that was to completely detach myself from Carly, Freddie, and the world. I shut my locker and turned to leave, but a hand on my wrist yanked me back and spun me around.

"Sam, what the hell is wrong with you? Ive been trying to talk to you, but youre completely ignoring me," Carly said angrily.

I wrenched myself from her grip and made my way to my next class without looking back. When I got to Ms. Briggss class, I sat in the back of the classroom to make sure that I was as far away from Carly and Freddie as possible.

My mind kept having flashbacks of the previous night and it made me cringe. My stomach growled in response to the memory. Yes, unfortunately, my emotions are linked to my stomach. I let my mind wander to distract my stomach from the immense pain it was experiencing.

The final bell rang and everyone shuffled into the classroom. Freddie caught my eye for a moment before sitting down next to Carly. I felt a brief pang in my chest before it completely disappeared from my mind, my emotions attached to my friends numbing with it.

"Okay, you bunch of hooligans, its time to shut up and let me make your lives miserable!" Ms. Briggs shouted.

Everyone immediately got quiet and shrunk down in their seats in fear. I put my feet on the cage under the desk and while Ms. Briggs began her endless droning.

I began thinking about my goal of losing weight. I weigh about 125 pounds right now. By not eating, I can easily lose ten pounds in two weeks and have it continue from there. I will look good and feel satisfied with my body in a matter of weeks. Ill show Carly and Freddie that I can look just as good as Carly, maybe even better. And I am not doing this entirely for Freddie. Im doing this for myself. The only thing that stood in the way of this goal was me. As I have mentioned, my stomach has a mind of its own. I have to build up my willpower to be able to do this or it will be impossible.

The hunger pain returned, causing me to moan quietly. The feeling was causing me to feel a bit lightheaded, which was never a pleasant feeling. With my goal in mind, I pushed the feeling aside and for once, tried to focus my attention on Ms. Briggs.

It was harder than I thought. Trying to pay attention was impossible without something in my stomach. Everything she was saying would go in one ear and out the other. I looked at the clock and saw that only three minutes had passed. This was going to be a very long day. I decided to do what I did best in a boring class. I laid my head down on my desk and closed my eyes, eventually falling asleep.

I jumped at the sound of the bell and sat up quickly, causing my head to spin. I cleared my head and grabbed my bag. I brisk walked to the door as fast as I could and headed to my next class. When I got there, I put my bag in the seat behind me, making sure that Freddie wouldnt sit behind me like he usually does. My teacher walked up to me and handed me a red pass which means it was time for my Monday appointment with my good friend, Principal Franklin.

When I got to the office, I sat down in my usual seat next to Ms. Dana, his secretary, and I waited for him to let me in. I noticed the jar of candy sitting on her desk. Whenever I came down here, I would always grab a hand full of candy and stuff it in my pockets. My stomach urged me to grab at least once piece, but I silently reminded myself of the number of calories one of those candies had.

Principal Franklins door opened and he stepped out, saving me from the battle going on between me and my stomach.

"Hello Sam. Please come in," he said warily, probably expecting me to tell him horrendous stories of what I did to get myself into trouble last week.

I sat down in the chair in front of his desk and waited as he sat down across from me. He took a sip of coffee and looked at me.

"Okay, you may begin," he said.

I thought back to last week and tried to remember all the things I did.

"Well, I gave Gibby his weekly Texas Wedgie, glued Ms. Briggs to her chair, made fun of Mr. Conrads shirt-"

He folded his hands and shook his head. "Why do you do these things, Sam? What do you get out of doing all of this?"

"I get a huge, unexplainable thrill from it. Watching other people suffer makes my day."

"Okay, what else have you done?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Shall I go on?"

"No, thats quite alright. Youll get a weeks worth of detention for last week, he said. However, if you dont mind my asking, are you okay?"

I frowned." Everythings peachy," I lied. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged." I dont know. You havent insulted me, damaged anything in my office, or made rude, obnoxious sounds while I talk to you."

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Must I always torment you?"

"No, Im just used to it. Its like a routine that needs to be followed," he explained. "Its just odd. Are you sure that there is nothing bothering you?"

I shook my head." Nope. I feel great", I said, using my best Sam attitude.

He seemed to believe me and smiled.

Good. I know your behavior is entirely unacceptable, but it wouldnt be the same if you just stopped doing bad things.

I stood up. "Thanks for the talk, Franklin. I have to get to class. See ya next week," I said, leaving without waiting for a response.

I got back to class and sat down, noticing that Freddie was sitting next to Rebecca Burkowits. Seeing that he didnt sit behind me lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I didnt want him bugging me all period about our little conversation or the way I acted this morning.

"Ms. Puckett, we were just discussing chapter seven. I presume that you have not read the chapter and are unable to contribute to the discussion?" Mrs. Berkley asked, looking over the glasses resting on the tip of her nose.

"You guessed correctly," I answered.

She wrote something down and muttered, Not surprising.

I grabbed my water and downed half of it. The empty feeling in my stomach was making me somewhat nauseous. These are probably minor symptoms. Theyre probably going to get much worse. I pushed that to the back of my mind so that I wouldnt worry about it. The satisfying feeling of losing weight will be enough to help me get through the symptoms to come.

God, please help me understand why I am going through this. Please help me

**A/N That was amazing right? Good job iAct! :)**


	3. iCarly ends all

**A/N- Okay, I am in love with this story and iAct is making it awesome! So please review! Tell us what you think! Your reviews are like PB and J. Meant to be! Get the picture? ;) - Love ya!**

**Sam's P.O.V-**

Water, water, water. God, I hate this stuff. My stomach growled like a lion who hasn't had its first meal in ages. This is the third day that I have gone with little food. I did eat a few fat cakes, but later on realized I ruined my plan and went to the bathroom to make the fat go away. My head pounded and I could hardly see straight. For a girl who eats every minute of the day, this was hard.

I walked the halls of the school. It was the middle of third period. Lunch was next, I never fully planned out how the my avoidance plan would work during this time. I sighed. My head still causing the world to spin around me. I quickly ran up to the wall and held it. I scrunched down to the floor. My head spun and my eyes clamped shut. I held my screaming stomach as hot tears spilled from my eyes. It stopped, five minutes later, after a call from a voice.

"Sam!" a loud, frightened voice screamed. I cracked open one eye to make out Freddie's shape and groaned. He knelt to my side and held my hand. "Are you okay? Sam! Can you here me?" He tugged at my jacket. I yelled at him. He felt over my forehead then around my cheeks, his cold hands leaving my hot face refreshed. I felt calmer but screamed some more.

"GO AWAY!" He looked at me with wide eyes and shook his head. I yelled this at the top of my lungs. He wasn't going to touch me. Not after what he has done to me. Even if he didn't know.

"No."

I felt my hand go back punch his nose as hard as I could manage. It hurt me more than him, in more ways then one, because he just stood, still wide eyed. Once more, I yelled at him to go away. He stood up and left. I was surprised that he left so easily. Maybe there is a God. I sighed and told myself to suck it up. To be perfect, there are some minor difficulties that I have to overcome. I have to suck it up and deal with them head on.

I used the lockers, near the wall, to push myself up just in time to see Freddie come with the school nurse. So much for God, I thought. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and grabbed my bags that I had dropped.

"Puckett, was that you screaming?" The nurse looked a bit angry, so I decided to be smart and not push it.

"Yes ma'am, my head hurt." I noticed the path of slowly walking students staring off into my direction and making it to their lockers. Must be the end of third period.

"Come in the office and take and some Advil. Don't scream in the hallways. What are you doing in the halls without a hall pass?" Her voice was sharp as she led me to her office, Freddie following from behind.

"I left to go to the bathroom. The teacher said it would be fine to go without a pass."

That was the first time I was totally honest. That's new for me. That is actually what happened. Can you guess what I did in the bathroom? It had become a part of me, a habit. Hard to forget and even harder to break. A habit that I definitely did not want to break. I need to be _perfect_. Better than the models on covers, better than singers, better then Carly.

I took an Advil and Freddie took me to lunch. For the past few days I came up with a reasonable excuse to get out of lunch with them, but since Freddie was here, there was no way I could. I sighed and took a place in line, buying a fresh new bottle of water and an apple. When I paid the lunch lady, she cocked an eyebrow, surprised at my abnormal appetite. It made my stomach sink. I gave her two dollars and moved on.

"Sam!" Carly cheered as I got to the table. She's been happier now that shewas positive Freddie would take her to homecoming. Yes another dance. Wasted tears.

"Haven't seen you in awhile!" I nodded and she frowned a bit, but behind me she saw Freddie and turned that frown up side down into a flirty smile. He shook her off and took a seat next to her.

"Wow Sam! That's not a lot," Carly said, really surprised.

"Yeah I know."

Freddie gave me a sharp look and I just stuck my tongue at him. I sat down and slowly drank my water, as Carly joked, flirted, and kissed Freddie. Which he returned reluctantly. He seemed dazed, like me. So I slowly got up, and pushing in my chair, leaving the scene behind me.

The whole day dragged on. I kept getting stares from Freddie, and a couple of worried glances from Carly. During Biology she passed a not me, asking about iCarly tonight. I agreed, pointing out I had to tell her something. I had thought about it and decided if I was to detach myself from the world and my former life until perfection, iCarly was the perfect way.

So that brings me to now. I slowly dragged myself up the stairs, past the psycho doorman and his crazy wart. I shuttered.

"Hey," Carly said after I knocked on her door, "there you are."

I half smiled and invited myself in. I sunk into her couch and heard Spencer sit next to me.

"I need to talk to you," he whispered my ear.

"About?" I whispered back.

We've mastered this. To me, he is like an older brother. So when Carly needs help or won't tell Spencer about her life, that's where I come in.

"Carly and Freddie."

I stiffened up and he frowned and muttered, "I thought so."

I got up to avoid the subject and went to their fridge. I pulled out noodles and began to cook them. By the time Freddie came over I had completed a feast.

"When could you cook?" Carly asked in amazement. I shrugged as everyone took a big plate but me. Instead I went to the bathroom where I glanced at myself in the mirror. Look at me, fatter than normal. Look at all the calories they can eat! Even Carly can eat what ever she wants. I looked over my whole body, and sighed. I groaned and walked out to find everyone cleaning the dishes.

"iCarly in ten minutes."

Ten minutes?! I couldn't do that!

I held my head in my heads. Crap. I'm screwed.

"Hi and welcome to iCarly!" Carly happily announced.

I'm not sure how we started the show without me telling her what I wanted to tell her. Time went by so fast.

"So for this episode-" Carly pointed at me.

I stood frozen. Trying to figure out how time had escaped me. How the hell could I have not noticed? It's all a blur.

"Sam," Carly growled from beside me.

"Sam?" Freddie's worried voice rang from the other side of his camera.

I didn't move or breath. My hands shook with worry and Carly's face grew red. I sighed deeply and told what I should've earlier.

"I quit."

**A/N- There you have it! Next chapter as soon as possible. Read okay?- Tony!**


	4. Fat Cakes and Candy Wrappers

**A/N- I'm sorry for the wait. It's been hard, I am not able to contact iAct so I went ahead and wrote this. Until I get back to her I'll be writing. Sorry. **

**Sam's P.O.V-**

I ran, as fast as I could. My eyes were burning. I don't care if I cry anymore. There's nothing left of me. _Nothing._ I ran out of Carly's apartment and to the lobby. I ignored Lewburt's cries. Screw him. Screw everyone. I held my heart. Tears ran down my face. My hair clung to my face. I huffed and puffed. I couldn't see the road. I only saw the slight buzz of near by cars going over the speed limit. I took my chances and ran across, over to an alley, and made my way to the apartment complex we lived in. The metal stairs 'clanged' to the fast foot steps. I lose balance and fell on to the ground. I slid and got a quick look at the alley under me. I was maybe three flights up and was hanging onto the railing. My feet slid from under me and my hands were the only things that kept me from falling. I dangled in the air, face red, my palms sweating. I wrapped my legs around the railing and slowly got up. I got up to fast though, and fell back down, only to hear a _snap_. Agonizing pain crawled around my ankle. I cried out in pain. The tears came faster and I was about to lose it. I was so weak, so so weak. I stood on my left ankle and balanced on it. I slowly placed my right one and started to walk, I yelled. More then yelled, more then cried, I scram as if a murder was coming at me with a knife and I was chained to a wall. Pain controlled my whole body. Muscles were begging for help. My ankle wanted me to hate. I hated myself. I hated Carly for taking Freddie. I hate Freddie for never nodicing I was the one for him.

I crawled to the fourth flight and unlocked our door. I crawled into my room and threw every draw I owned onto the floor until I found it- my stash. I yearned for every one, and I fell. I lost myself at that moment. I tore open each candy bar with as much enthusium as a kid at Christmas. I crammed maybe twenty pieces at a time. I grabbed handfuls of 'fat cakes' and ripped open the packages with my teeth. I chugged six peppy colas, each one causing me to become sicker. I stopped and looked at all the empty wrappers and grabbed a pilllow to sob in. I could never be the same. I was changed. Forever.

**Freddie's P.O.V-**

The second Sam muttered the words 'I quit.' some how I knew it was coming. Her face, her eyes, the way she was willing to lose. She was changing in a way. I would know. I nearly dropped the camera at that second. I looked at the iCarly webpage and saw over two million comments. We've never had two million viewers.

_Samforeva- This show will suck without Sam. Way to go Carly!_

_Carlysbiggestfan- I'm sorry Carly, but you're not very funny. Sam is, so I'd get her back on the show._

_Seddie101- OMG! What about Seddie? You retard Carly! Ugh! Screw this show! I'm not watching until Sam comes back._

Those were actually the most PG ones. I slapped myself for not relising it. This show will suck with out Sam. Sam, oh shit. I had to help her. I put down my camera and was about to leave the room when Carly shouted, "Freddie!!"

"What," I snapped.

She looked scared but replied, "The show?"

"Sam?"

"So? We can do it without her. No big deal. She was being a bitch anyway."

My eye's grew big. "She's your best friend!"

"Freddie, I'm your girlfriend. Remember? So stay here and help me finish this."

"She's not well Carly!'

"The show FREDDIE!"

"You selfish bitch. If anyone here should be angry it's her. You've been a bad friend and you're going to do nothing about it are you?!"

"Freddie," She said evily. My hand was on the door knob. "You leave right now, we are over. No going back. No iCarly. Nothing."

I sucked in my breath, "Good."


End file.
